On the Road

There’s a reason that the Salinger estate refuses to let a Catcher in the Ryeadaptation happen: Because some things just shouldn’t exist, and this is one of them. The movie feels like kids playing beatnik dress up, sweating the novel instead of feeling it. If you want to truly understand what it was like to be on the road with Kerouac, read the book instead, a stream-of-consciousness epic that can’t be recreated.

Twilight: New Moon

Well to be frank, all of the books are pretty fucking terrible — a magic combination of anti-feminist and boring as fuck — but this cover somehow makes it worse. We have Bella getting spooned by a gay werewolf while her stalker undead boyfriend watches from a distance. He also might be the moon. This is what young women masturbate to these days? We gotta get them some porn subscriptions.

I, Robot

In Hollywood, no one can hear you butcher a classic. This is the place where great sci-fi gets paid tribute to when it becomes a Will Smith vehicle, between this and the terrible I Am Legend. It could be worse, though: Ray Bradbury had to be alive to see the A Sound of Thundermovie. At least Asimov got out while he could.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Of Seth Grahame-Smith’s undead mash-up epics, I personally prefer Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but his biographical satire didn’t deserve what Hollywood did to it, a strangely serious rendering of camp that sucks the life from the book. Having fun never looked so grim.

World War Z

The film adaptation of World War Z shares two things in common with its source material: They are both named World War Z and they’re about zombies. Max Brooks’ clever oral history of the zombie uprising got turned into a sleek Hollywood global conspiracy thriller, like The Da Vinci Code and Lost, with a smattering of the undead. It was better than it had to be, but it wasn’t the book.

One Shot

I never got around to reading the series that the film Jack Reacher was based on, but unfortunately, I saw Jack Reacher in theatres last December, one of the most unintentionally funny movies I’ve ever seen. If I were a fan of the novel, I would be pissed to  have to be reminded of that every time I passed by the novels in a store.

All The King’s Men

Steven Zaillian’s movie adaptation of All the King’s Men was supposed to be a major awards played in 2006, with the Oscars practically engraving themselves based on cast pedigree alone. But then people saw Sean Penn mugging with a horrid Southern-ish accent for two hours, and it was all over. Bookstores were then stuck with this copy for the rest of time, a movie tie-in pushed just as hard as the actual film.

The Great Gatsby

When did 1920s art deco become Watch the Thronestarring Tobey Maguire? I can’t with this poster, and I especially can’t when it has to ruin one of the best books ever written.

Source: thoughtcatalog.com